'Get it together': Upper Darby superintendent pleads with parents to talk with kids about behavior

Upper Darby superintendent asks parents to talk to their children about their behavior

One local superintendent has noticed an increase in physical fights and online bullying at his schools, and is asking parents to step in.

UPPER DARBY, Pa. - "Unsettling" behaviors, "worn out" staff and "potentially unsafe" situations has left one local school superintendent feeling the need to reach out to parents directly for help.

"I send this communication with hope and optimism of better days ahead for us as a community, but recent student behaviors are unsettling to say the least," Daniel McGarry, superintendent of Upper Darby School District, wrote in a letter to families last week.

McGarry described the past few months as being emotionally and physically draining as physical fights and social media bullying have escalated in the district's schools, on buses and even outside school hours.

"We will not tolerate threats of violence or acts of violence in our schools or community. We have to do better," he wrote.

The superintendent joined Good Day on Monday to discuss the "mixed" reactions from parents after sending out the letter asking parents to speak with their children about their behavior, and how to "treat one another with respect."

"The reaction from some folks in the community is that teachers and administrators could do more," he told FOX 29's Alex Holley and Mike Jerrick. "That we're not doing enough."

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He said that all the documentation involved when a fight breaks out, or bullying unfolds, takes away from teaching and leaves his staff "worn out" at a time when schools are already faced with teacher shortages.

"There is a lot of fear among administrators and teachers that if they miss something, that if they don't do something well, that they are going to be held responsible for it," he said.

McGarry reinforced the shool district's proactive programs to combat any violence within the schools, including youth courts, support programs and parent workshops.

Ending his letter by asking for "help as a community to rally around one another to overcome this adversity. No one part of our school community can do it alone. We need all involved in supporting students to be and do their best,"

On Monday, he once again called for a "united front" between school staff, parents, bus drivers and local law enforcement to create a safe space to students and their teachers at school.

When asked what he wants parents to say to their kids, McGarry responded, "Get it together."

"We need our parents to be supportive," he said. "Get involved. Get involved in your home and school, support your administration, support your teaching staff, and become a united front."

Read the full letter:

Good Evening Upper Darby Royals:

I send this communication with hope and optimism of better days ahead for us as a community, but recent student behaviors are unsettling to say the least. Over the past few months, the increase in physical altercations on the way to school or on the way home from school while walking or on our buses, conduct in our schools, and even conduct in the evening and over the weekend has to improve. I know that we can all do better. I have recently held meetings with the Upper Darby Police Department's Chief of Police, Mr. Timothy Bernhardt. We work together under a state-required Memo of Understanding (MOU) where local public school districts work with local law enforcement on promoting, sustaining, and responding to emergencies and student conduct in the community. In response to the increased community and school behaviors, we wanted to remind all of you of the following support(s) and resources we have available to students and families in need, and to also let everyone know that we will not tolerate threats of violence or acts of violence in our schools or community. We have to do better.

Proactively, the District has the following programs in place in our schools:

1. Youth Courts

2. Trained Restorative Justice Teams
3. Student Assistance Program (SAP)
4. Trauma Informed Supports in partnership with Lakeside Neurologic
5. Conflict Resolution Supports in partnership with Child Guidance Resource Center in our schools
6. Crisis Prevention Institute - Nonviolent Crisis Intervention Training
7. State-Recognized Positive Behavior Intervention and Support Programs (PBIS)
8. K-12 Social and Emotional Learning Lessons
9. Building Level Equity Teams
10. Guidance Counselors and Social Workers
11. Parent Workshops and student assemblies in partnership with the District Attorney's Office on the perils of social media
12. Safe2Say Something
13. Developing a TAPS program with local police
14. Developing a Youth Mentor Program

15. Developing updated technology curriculum to include Digital Citizenship
16. Developing a Fire Preparation Course Proposal

We have staff and resources to help our students make better choices, but we need your help.

We can no longer tolerate the physical nature of recent behaviors in our schools, on our buses and in our community. We are putting our staff, our emergency responders, and other students in potentially unsafe situations. I have met with our Upper Darby Education Association union leadership, and again, our local law enforcement. Our staffs are worn out trying to provide our students the best they have to offer. We need your support. As parents/guardians, we ask that you please speak to your children about appropriate conduct on their way to and from school and in school. Please talk to them about treating one another with respect. I know we are still feeling the effects of the pandemic, and the last several months have been physically and emotionally draining, but our schools should be one of the safest places in a young person's life. We will continue to implement the plan we put in place since 2021 for students involved in the following at the secondary level:

1. Cutting classes and roaming the halls will result in a meeting with the Director of Secondary Education.
2. Physical conduct and fighting will not be tolerated. Students engaged in fighting will be brought to a hearing and removed from in-person instruction.
3. Social Media conduct outside of school and during the school are negatively impacting student behavior. Interactions between and among students via social media that interrupt the learning environment will result in a meeting with the Director of Secondary Education.
4. Students engaged in bullying and/or harassing both physically and via social media will be disciplined in accordance with our Code of Character
5. Negative student behavior on our buses will not be tolerated. We will expect parental support if students engage in negative behavior while on a district bus to and from school. Students engaged in negative behavior will receive discipline and possible removal from the bus.

I am asking for your help as a community to rally around one another to overcome this adversity. No one part of our school community can do it alone. We need all involved in supporting students to be and do their best.

Thank you for your attention to this very important message.

Daniel P. McGarry, Ed.D.